christmas morning and Ippoc wants to know when i will complete my "assignment". so before the coffee high wears off, here goes:

1. I still have a baby tooth that has yet to come out. and when it does, i do not want this fairy to come and touch anything.












2. the movie "a star is born" with Barbra Striesand affected me profoundly. i did not perm my hair like some people (little voice: ippoc) but after seeing the film, i was a changed person. i knew my life would be meaningless unless i became madly famous and found myself one day onstage singing a very moving song while the audience held up lighters for me.
i knew this was my fate even though i had no musical talent and planned to be deathly ill the day my oral report on the Oxbow Incident was due.



4. i lived in scotland for three years. in a town called Linlithgow with a palace in the center of town. that's it there. i had a friend called Gillian Sprout. we would meet on Sundays and wander around town looking for empty bottles to turn in for cash to buy white pudding and chips. it would take us all day. sometimes during our search we'd wait for trains to pass by on the tracks overhead. and when they roared past we would stand on our hands with our feet up in the air against a wall and flash our underpants (those with "underpant issues", substitute the undergarment word of your choice.)




3. when i first started highschool i had no friends. at lunch i would pretend that i was going home for lunch. I would stride out of the building as if i had somewhere to be in case people who did not know me and who i did not know wondered where exactly i was going in such a rush. i would cross the street and walk through the residential section for exactly twenty minutes then turn around and head back, returning just as the bell rang.



4. my first cat's name was Bruno. (you didn't know that did you?)


5. sometimes i pull clothes out of the dirt laundry pile and wear them to work.