Friday, September 08, 2006

Vitameatavegamin Vegan Cafe

we went to dinner last night and had some wine. two resolutions merrily squashed in one go. sometimes you just have to say fuck it. so we did. we went to Trader Vic's, birthplace of the maitai so it's said. one sip and i'm right back at the Islander on the Beach in Kauai swimming in their little pool with the lanterns and the warm wind and...so there's this crazy loon of a lady at another table. she looks not so loon like from a distance, but her loud "shit" to no one in particular gives her looniness away. Upon closer inspection she looks quite messed up. Linda said she wasn't a loon but was wearing one of those stupid blue tooth things. i was a little disappointed. I wanted a loon. then i asked linda "what if she can't pay?" it seemed like a brilliant idea for a homeless person, hungry and in need of a drink. wear your best homeless clothes and go to a stuffy place like Trader Vics and eat and drink till you're full then tell the staff you have no money. "What are they gonna do, throw you in jail? then you have a place to sleep and free food." Linda gives me a funny look and says "normal people don't think that way." Anyhow we ordered some wine after our maitai. Linda likes to say that she has "bellavision" when she gets a little buzz. "I got me a bella" she says. I always have bellavision. Anyhow we start planning our future which always involves a plan to leave this messed up country and move to Europe. I have dual citizenship, thanks to my papa being Scottish. We talk about how my job is not getting me anywhere and we ought to open a vegan cafe that serves nothing but vegan food. (her pork chop has yet to arrived at this point.) "soy milk, vegan muffins, vegan pizza, nothing but vegan," she says. "Okay", she says, "here's the plan. We've got a four pronged approach." She holding out three fingers. The loon from across the dining room lets out another "shit!" Basically the plan is that I'm to find a job at Peets, get into the cafe business, get a small business loan, open up the vegan cafe, and then we move to Spain and open a cafe there. "we'll call it "Vitameatavegamin Vegan Cafe" after the I love Lucy espisode, she says. Sounds like a plan to me. We head home and it's decided that prong one requires that I go rent the I Love Lucy vitameatavegamin episode and for some reason i ask to wear her silly BlueTooth thing from her job so that i can call her from the video store. she says yes which i attribute to her bellavision. I pop it over my ear and head out. In the car on the way to Reel Video i try to give Linda a call. "Linda Locke" I call out. "Did you say Tom Gall?" "No, Linda Locke!" "Did you say Tom Gall?" "No!" I repeat louder. I'm sitting in the parking lot now. "Tom G-" "No! No! No!" A man holding his kid's hand gives me a sideways look as he passes the car.

So, that's our plan.

16 comments:

Ippoc Amic said...

the vitameatvegamin cafe sounded better after the maitai and wine...today, cashing in the 401K and chucking 21+ years at the job doesn't seem like such a good idea...

Ippoc Amic said...

you know, I thought I posted to your previous post last night after the drinkie, but I can't find it...hope it's not on someone else's site...things not to do after having wine

1) download from itunes
2) don't write on blogs
3) don't make cell phone calls on other people's work phones

marscat said...

i still don't know what my laptop was doing on the floor by the bed...maybe daisy was blogging

Velo Bella said...

okay
you guys are killing me

I'm going to have to come back to this later when I have more time

and just you wait until Michael finds this. He's going to be beside himself.

bellavision....killing me.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

found it.

you guys owe me a new keyboard.

X Bunny said...

there is this great vegan restaurant in palm springs that seems busy every time we go there even though it is in the middle of a stupid strip mall

but please have some cheese on the pizza...

Velo Bella said...

WHy do you go to Palm Springs?

velogirl said...

wasn't that vegameatavitamin?

Flandria said...

please open one in San Jose! I are desperate! don't like the asian fake meat stuff - that stuff is processed with fat and msg, just pure vegan cafe - organic fresh produce, real soy and lots of passion for good clean eating...

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

and don't forget the lard for my refer beans.

Ippoc Amic said...

oooh, I love lard in beans...that's the key to mking a good pot o beans...

PAB said...

lard is gross.

And Olaf is just kidding, anyway....

-

We ate last night at a GREAT vegetarian restaurant in Ar...oops, almost had a security breech...

Anyway, those college dropout hippie types sure know how to cook!

So, when is your restaurant opening?

Velo Bella said...

OKAY

I finally had a chance to revisit this.

And after drinking two margaritas, I read it out loud to Michael.

We are cracking up all over again.

And if your vegan cafe really did serve lard beans, pork chops and cheezy bavarians, we would convert to veganism.

Oh...and carne asada..can you serve that too? it goes well with the margaritas.



I think I am breaking rule #2 from comment #2

marscat said...

VB: glad you like...and why haven't either of you posted in like three days?

we need our fix.

marscat said...

lard, cheese, carne asada,
refer beans, bavarian sausages,margaritas??

ippoc, i think we need to have another business meeting. people don't want vegan, they want dead animals and booze.

Flandria said...

oh oh...misunderstood the blog...vegginess can make my head spin...ignore my previous comment