Thursday, January 11, 2007

passion

Bush's new plan is a lost cause. i know this even though i've never fought in a war, never commanded troups, eaten any MREs, fired a gun, piloted a warplane or worn fatigues (apart from a pair of cool shorts from the GAP a few years back). what our man Bush is experiencing is a really bad relationship that's gone wrong and he can't let go. he's a chaser and Iraq is the distancer. the more he piles it on the worse it's gonna get. i know this from experience. i was crazy about this girl once and she said she was crazy about me (i'll add that this came after a few Bushmills). the bad part was that she already had a girlfriend who she lived with who was still crazy about her, so she wasn't about to toss either of us aside, only i was betting on that i was going to win this struggle. (Admission: this was years ago, i was really selfish, and dumb and hardheaded and wouldn't listen to reason: remind you of anyone?) i bored my friends to tears with my woes. i cornered them at cafes and in bars. i got them on the phone and wouldn't let them off. on and on i went about how she would really be with me "except" for this other person who she felt bad about. i learned really quickly which of my friends would give me the responses i wanted to hear. my good friend David would listen quietly and then clobber me with a statment like, "boy you must really love feeling bad." then there was Michael who would simply repeat my words "she would leave if she could," followed by a breathy, questioning "hmmm?" that made me want to take out a gun and shoot him. so i stopped asking them for advice. i went instead to my crazy messed up mother who was in the midst of a rotten relationship with a married man. i can't say she offered me any words of wisdom; she was too busy cursing her boyfriend. but i knew i wasn't going to hear that i was a fool and that i was going down the wrong path. uh-uh. no i got exactly what i wanted to hear: be patient, stick it out, things may change. so i forged onward, bulldozing my way into this girl's life, refusing to take no for an answer. i wasted a lot of years until one day it dawned on me that i would not win the battle because it was not winnable: she was perfectly content to have both of us in her life. the battle was all mine to lose and lose i did but moved onward.

4 comments:

~ lauren said...

bush must be some sort of a robot or something.

did you ever read that book by jersey kozinksi? "being there"?

how old were you during that experience?

marscat said...

no, but i saw the movie...oh this was years ago, bad period.

Ippoc Amic said...

maybe bush is overdoing the drinking again..

Nrjetik1 said...

Zsa Zsa,
Boy do I know that one. Been there/done that with a relationship where the person was never going to "give up" the other person. I too believed elsewise. Crazy huh?