Friday, July 21, 2006

i am so tired from the Tour

i could go to sleep right now at my desk and most likely no one here at work would notice.

one day, in fact, i went to go talk to my supervisor in her cube. i usually do a small hop in the air about half a foot or so to get a glimpse of the top of her head before entering. this day i didn't see any orange sprouts so i turned the corner and walked into her cube. i nearly stepped on her face. there she was stretched out on the floor a nappin. "Oh" she said, "people don't usually come back this far." which made me wonder does she do this often?

I also shared an office at one time with a woman, who had several small, fat children and a real lout for a husband. his name was Auggie. they had no money and were always fighting and looking for spare change to buy Chicken McNuggets for dinner. she was tired all the time. she'd come into work a good forty minutes late and plop down in her chair and just sit there with her coat still on and her purse hanging off her arm, not saying nothing for a while. then she'd pick up the phone and yak and yak and yak --to her cousin, to her mother, to her brother's ex-wife, to anyone who would listen -- for the rest of the morning until it was time for lunch. she'd would then sift through the fluff and long lost tampons in the bottom of her purse for spare change to buy a heaping mound of nachos that would coat the small office with a greasy, cheesy film.

after lunch she'd begin working. she was not bright. she was very dumb. my supervisor, when she was not napping, would help her out as best she could. she bought her a dictionary. i'd often see the dictionary on her desk beneath a gallon of Coke. one day she too fell asleep and snored. this is the truth. she had a delicate snore considering her enormous mass. the kind of snore that i could put up with in a loved one -- but not in a co-worker. i reached for my stapler and banged it on my desk. she jerked awake, slurped some coke and got on the horn to her father in-law’s ex-wife, Patty in Yuba City.

so perhaps i will put my noggin on the desk and pass out. g'night


Olaf Vanderhoot said...

well ... yeah?

you gotta get rested up for the TT tomorrow morning.


this Monday i'm gonna be trashed ... cuz you know i'm gonna be glued to that set, hopin' for another late break winnin' on the Champs.

Wild Dingo said...

Where do you work? I want to work there. And I want you for an cube-mate. I promise, I won't snore...

Velo Bella said...

I like your work stories


There was a guy who used to work in the department I managed, but he was fired just before I arrived.

Bummer, because I would have liked to meet him. You know, to add to the cast of characters for that story I'll write someday.

He would often fall asleep at his desk.

He was so sound asleep, that his coworkers would play tricks on him. Things like covering him with glitter and yelling "BOO!" in his ear.

At first, he was given a break, in case it was a health thing or something. But eventually they figured out that he was a Karaoke addict. He spent all night at Karaoke.

He didn't even drink. Just stayed up late and sang.

I used to think that was so freakish.

Now that I am seriously sleep deprived (not to mention ignoring even the most basic household chores)from getting up early and then staying up late to watch the same bike race stage 3 times a day....I can't really fault the karaoke king so much.

marscat said...

i work at....ssssh, people are sleeping ....UCB.

and i that's funy about the Karaoke King

Ippoc Amic said...

yes, I am tired too, I am tired of waking up early to watch other people ride their bike, then coming home and being too tired to ride my own bike, then sitting down and watching those same people ride their bike a second and third time...but, I am going to miss it when it's over..

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