Thursday, July 26, 2007

this post has a lot to do with cat barf, and nothing to do with the TdF

i'm just gonna say it. i am fed up with the stuff. it's rampant in our home. just when i think i've cleaned it all up, there it is again -- a chunky gob in the middle of the carpet, a runny, sticky sliminess on the bottom of my foot. we have a rule, linda and I, "you see, it you clean it." but she's not much help in the matter.

"did you get that spot over there? and there? and there?" she asks lazily as i am down on my hands and knees with paper towel and lysol.

what to do? i don't really know. i mean is it really possible to stop cats from barfing? even if i catch minnie mid-hurl and toss him off a newly cleaned bedspread to the safety of the hardwood floor, he'll still go right on barfing. and once he's upchucked a perfectly good 1/2 can of organic salmon and caviar wet-food and you say, "no, minnie! no! don't barf. barfing is bad!" he doesn't get it. he'll go right ahead and do it the next time underneath the bed where i can't reach it easily. and sure i could clean it up right then, but why, why? when it'll dry up on its own. does that make me part of the problem? i wonder.

so maybe, there's really no stopping them. i suppose i could monitor them all day long and make sure they don't barf. i could follow daisy from the bed to the chair, from the chair to the bed, from the bed to the chair but that's not right. and dull. or, i could hide around the corner and sneak up on them when they least expect it, to catch them in the act - gagging, drooling a little pre-barf spittle (as is their way). but daisy is delicate. so very delicate. fluff scares her. and minnie is old and pissy. he's likely to latch onto my leg if i jump out at him unexpected like that.

i suspect there's just no way to stop the barfing. it's a shame really.

27 comments:

lauren said...

do all cats barf that much? is she eating weird stuff?

marscat said...

he's old and gets big hairballs...

Lilly Bella said...

pretty much since you are now delegated to barf control you will both have to coordinate your efforts and share barf intell, it just won't work if only one sees it. Maybe your agency MABA (Marscat Anti Barfing Agency) can hook up with Catwon's UCUCI (you see it you clean it) org.

temporary negative reinforcements won't work, because they will only appear to not barf to avoid penalty, they will just hide their barf and days later when you look for a dead bod in your home you'll find the pile of barf stacked up nicely in some remote place atop your precious packrat items and neither cat will claim barf responsibility

telling them there are mexicans in Salinas that are dying of hunger when they chuck up caviar and salmon won't work either, they are addicted to barfing not caviar, but I do know there is at least one mexican that would gladly eat that salmon.

history has proven contracts don't work, so forget about trying to get Minnie and Daisy to sign any type of no barf pledge, they are... barf addicts.

yes, sorry Marsey but you'll have to coordinate your efforts with each other and perhaps you won't stop barfing but you can help clean it up.

Lilly Bella said...

oh and if that doesn't help click on this

http://www.pets.ca/pettips/tips-69.htm

Velo Bella said...

I've never had a cat + barf problem. But then, I have never fed them salmon and caviar.

and

ewwwwww

marscat said...

lilly needs a blog so we can get the crazy funny inner-workings of her mind on a daily basis.

and thanks for the link. lots of good advice. much reading to do.

"Dog farts - farting dogs"

marscat said...

vb - you will, you will.

Lilly Bella said...

Oh I'm not ready for the real world of blogging, guest appearances are more my style...

you are just the lucky recipient of a stress free, no cash so I can't travel vacation time, it all stops in August where I resume my influence on 6 year olds, I promise.

Velo Bella said...

not even my 14 year old cats barfed (at least regularly anyway)

maybe like once or twice a year or something

Laura's KC barfed a lot too, so do her 6 year olds I bet, so she's sort of a barf expert

velogirl said...

shave 'em and give up something to eat besides foo-foo salmon.

marscat said...

vb - shouldn't you be working on our beer and fry sponsorship and not blogging.


vg - we do shave certain parts of them...and that foo-foo stuff is sposed to be good for them.

Ippoc Amic said...

wild dingo told us we need to feed the cats the good stuff so I am trying...

lilybella-the barf doesn't stay hidden for long in the house because if we don't find it, the ants find it, and then we have a frickin ant trail....

vg-I shave daisy's ass-cuts down on the dingleberries

bbElf (a.k.a. panda) said...

I had a response to this all planned out and Lilly's response laughed it right out of me...

chatterbox said...

marscat - that's why old ladies have the plastic covers on all their furniture!

I had a long-haired cat that barfed constantly growing up. I think we gave her some hairball medicine that did reduce it somewhat.

Ippoc Amic said...

who's calling us OLD...

chatterbox said...

I'm not calling you guys OLD! I'm just saying that old ladies who have lots o' cats cover their furniture.

(hopefully I didn't dig myself any deeper there....)

lauren said...

yeah, get some plastic for your furniture.

that'd be cool.

and shaving dingleberries? ewe!

lauren said...

ass dingleberries. that's such a gross term.

X Bunny said...

migo barfs

PAB(a.k.a.CID) said...

migo only barfs occassionally. like maybe once every month or two.

one time I grabbed him just in time and held him over the toilet. worked out fine. no spillage. once he was done we were both very hppy again.

marscat said...

that migo, so civilized!

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

barf, barf, barf, barf


poop

PAB(a.k.a.CID) said...

that is a lovely poem, ov.

Ippoc Amic said...

and one time I caught Minnie's barf in my hand before it got all over the car...yuck...it was warm...

bbElf (a.k.a. panda) said...

I once woke up to the sound of my cat heaving and manged to sleep-grab him and hold him over the toilet so he puked there. He's a lot smaller than Migo, though.

marscat said...

you know the last thing i'd ever want anyone to do when i was heaving is to grab me and drag me anywhere....

poor, poor kitties

Denise said...

With 4 cats, we always have a wad of barf somewhere. Once kitty barfed on Jimmy's work boots and I thought we were going to have pussy stew for dinner.......