Monday, June 11, 2007

i love this picture. it capture all of the sweetness of linda. she did me a big favor this weekend by joining me up at Sattley right before her bidness trip down to Fresno today. she didn't want to go, told me she didn't want to go but I kept trying to register late. finally, she helped me by looking up the right number. i'm so pig headed.

she hates time-trials more than i hate them and i hate them a lot. so it was a stressful trip and really no fun at all. it didn't help that we stayed in the Great Western Saloon in Loyalton about 12 miles from the course. what a stinkhole of a place, tho the people were friendly enough. we ordered two margaritas as soon as we checked in. "do you do top shelf?" linda asked the guy behind the bar who looked like he was the owner "with a splash of Cointreau," she explained. "kwan-what?" he asked. as he poured in some coolant colored mix he felt the bottle with his palm " kinda warm" he said. couldn't wait.

the restaurant had a brownish greyish moldish colored shag carpet covering the floor and a stone fountain that looked like it had been plopped there because whoever was carrying it outside (where it belonged) ran out of energy. no water flowed in it. it just was there, in the middle of the dining floor. perhaps a previous owner's good idea gone bad and forgotten.


we ordered two beers because we weren't feeling anything from the warm margarita engine coolant.

"this place is depressing," linda said.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, I wanted to say. tho it's usually no good to say sorry once you're already in purgatory. best to wait until things look up a little. but with a 40k tt the next morning and then a 4 hour drive home before her 4 hour trip to fresNO, there wasn't much looking up on the horizon.

I'd chosen my seat so as not to face the restaurant's far wall/shed area -- the final resting place of empty boxes, aerosal cleaning cans, dusty plastic flowers and a boom box from circa 1973. instead, i stared at the poster on the far right wall. a picture of a hunk of chocolate cake and a can of diet coke. "Eat American" it said.

"remember that poster from last time we were here?" i asked linda who looked small and forlorn sitting across from me. she glanced over her shoulder. "maybe," she said and then, "we're never staying here again."

the menu was a binder of odd pictures of food clipped from magazines like some seventh grade art project. and if any crime had been committed by a customer at the Great Western Saloon in the past twenty years, i would direct detectives to this thing. no need to dust for prints, i turned each page with the tips of my fingers.

"Best dang food you ever had" read a caption beneath a picture of spaghetti. who'd ever clipped the picture must have been in a rush because they'd chopped right through the top of the meatball.

"is the spaghetti sauce homemade?" linda asked the waitress.
"no it's Prego," she said.

later, in our room, i tried not to let anything i'd brought touch anything. i would have put kleenex boxes on my feet and rubber gloves on my hands if i had them. i noticed linda had put a plastic bag under her toiletry bag on the sink counter. and i'm 100% certain there was semen on that bedspread cover, no fibre analysis required. the blinds wouldn't open, the window wouldn't open. it was like we were in an acquarium floating in shag carpet fumes. linda took a shower and went to sleep immediately.

i turned off the lights and turned on the TV, strapped to the ceiling. and we still had a 40k TT to do.

14 comments:

X Bunny said...

buy some antibacterial wipes and put them in your travel bag

required accessory for any bike racer

Anonymous said...

oh dear!

alicat said...

i just skimmed this as i am at school and my students are taking their final, but i need to go home and really read it cause this sounds like an epic story...

bbElf (a.k.a. panda) said...

A TV strapped to the ceiling? That beats all...

I *heart* antibacterial wipes.

marscat said...

i was even afraid of the ice in the ice machine.

wipes it is.

lauren said...

ewe.

it woulda been too much for me too. you're description gives me that creepy, yucky motel feeling.

you guys are strong.

even camping in the laguna seca dirt pit sounds better then your motel. we at least had a gigantic tarp to lay down.

Ippoc Amic said...

at least the tv was the only thing strapped to the ceiling...

I just ate those baby back ribs from Chili's and had a $5.79 margarita...not a bad margarita-at least it was cold...but this place sucks...I feel surrounded by potential serial killers dressed as laborers...or old geriatic smokers looking for hookers. extended stay america...seems like the name of a long term nursing home...

Eclectchick said...

"Eat American"??? That is SO sad.

Your hotel room sounds like the very same peach of a room we stayed in for Texas Hellweek last year. You just don't want to even know how this crack happened in this door, and how that stain got on that section of carpet - let alone what said stain is made of. (shudder)

Nrjetik1 said...

You guys should have joined me at ADT. wow, that track is amazing!!!!
I could at least, pretend I could ride fast...at least fast enough not to slide down the 45 degree banking :)

marscat said...

alicat...you blog in class?

lauren we're going to that crazy 24 dirt thing next year. screw sattley...

a $5.79 margarita? double digits may never come home.

and chicky, the bathroom garbage can had something dark splattered on the the bottom which i pondered waaaay too long.

energetic one...that banking scares the bejesus out of me...perhaps we'll see you at hellyer instead.

monk said...

C'mon girls...you can afford to stay someplace better than this!

Great story tho, thanks for sharing.

I hope you are recovered from that rough road. I did that TT three or four years ago and I still haven't wanted to do it again.

Cheers!
Mon

marscat said...

hey monica...hope you're feeling better from the fender bender.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

"this place sucks...I feel surrounded by potential serial killers dressed as laborers...or old geriatic smokers looking for hookers. extended stay america...seems like the name of a long term nursing home...



... ok, there's two writers in that household.

shawnkielty said...

Sorry, sorry, sorry, I wanted to say. tho it's usually no good to say sorry once you're already in purgatory.

Yes, there is.